It is unfortunate that Memorial Day has become confused in the minds of many Americans.
Then again, perhaps our collective amnesia in that regard is not an entirely bad thing.
But first, let’s settle this: just what is it is we are remembering on Memorial Day? Are we remembering to decorate the graves of all who have died, or at least remember them is some special way? Or is it only those who died in the military, serving our country, that we are honoring? Is this day a day to recognize all who have ever served in the military? Or are we simply remembering that it is the unofficial beginning of summer, celebrated by barbequing and watching the Indy 500?
Just what is it we remembering?
I’m certainly not going to tell you how to spend your Memorial Day weekend, whose grave you can decorate, whom you shall honor and remember, or whether or not you should barbeque and cheer on your favorite driver at the Indy 500.
But, for the record, Memorial Day is a day of honoring those who died in the military. Veterans Day, November 11, honors all those who have served in the military. The Indy 500 is, well, something for race car fans, and barbequing is for those who love barbequing.
But perhaps the confusion is not all that bad. Our haziness about why we have a Memorial Day is actually a rather good thing. Let me explain.
The origins of Memorial Day are unclear. The 1863 commemoration of dead soldiers at Gettysburg is viewed by some as the origin of Memorial Day. After the Civil War, decorating the graves of soldiers became a common practice. By 1868, General John A. Logan, who served in the Union Army, advocated having a Decoration Day, a time for the nation to decorate the graves of the war dead with flowers. So, Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day in 1868. But, wait, women in Columbus, Mississippi had placed flowers on the graves of both the Union and Confederate dead in a cemetery there on April 25, 1866, and therefore claimed that as the first “Decoration Day.”
Putting aside the historians’ disagreements about whether Decoration Day began during or after the Civil War, by whom and where, we can be sure that what we acknowledge today as Memorial Day had its origins in the holocaust of the American Civil War.
Americans, North and South, honored their deceased soldiers by decorating their graves because dead soldiers were all around them. It was “up close and personal,” to the tune of 620,000 deaths—more than were killed from the American Revolution to the Korean War combined. And that was with a population in the US that was one-tenth what it is today. With our current population, casualties of that enormity would be 6.2 million. The dead from the Civil War, were in other words, everywhere.
For any family who has lost a loved one in battle, statistics are irrelevant. One death is a 100% casualty to that family. We must recognize that.
But we can pause this Memorial Day, and give thanks that we do not live in a country where body bags of our soldiers are being brought home to their resting places by the hundreds daily. Our very confusion in what Memorial Day is, reveals our blessing: we live in relative peace. That peace may be fragile; and yes, we do take it for granted, perhaps, naively so. But we can enjoy the luxury of barbequing, watching whatever it is we want on TV, without, at least as a nation, mourning hundreds of loved ones dying daily in battle for our freedom.
So, kick back, enjoy the day, sip on that iced tea, maybe by the pool, while the sweet aroma of mesquite from that barbeque wafts your way.
Then, take a deep breath and remember, it is Memorial Day.
Some soldier had to die for it to be called that.