For many, it’s that time of year when our best intentions shift into overdrive as we make all those New Year’s resolutions, hoping to cruise through the year accomplishing them all. And too often, we end up disappointed again. That’s because resolutions tend to become ends in themselves, and when that happens, they overload our desire for life improvement.
People who make resolutions want a better life. After all, that’s why they make resolutions. The trouble is, we want it all: better health, more income, expanded knowledge, improved relationships — all in the form of detailed plans that propel us forward into the New Year. We hyperfocus on eliminating flaws and “fixing” our lives. That’s why most people’s New Year’s resolutions grind to a halt by the second Friday in January, dubbed “Quitter’s Day.”
I think of the quote from Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, who famously said, “I’m a great quitter. It’s one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter…I was raised to give up.”
Making resolutions and breaking resolutions becomes an annual habit.How about resolving not to make any resolutions, at least not in the way you’ve made them in the past? Call it a resolution to do nothing.
Most of us know the general rules for making resolutions: achievable yet challenging, specific and not too general, manageable and not overwhelming. But before filling up that pad of paper with one goal after another: wait, stop. How about doing less and thinking more this year?
W.H. Davies wrote a beautiful poem entitled “Leisure,” written perhaps in 1911. The opening lines are: “What is this life if, full of care/We have no time to stand and stare?”
In a world where it seems everyone wants to splash their opinion on social media, or where every social and political issue has become a hill to die on, where we are quick to throw down the gauntlet of division where once it seemed honorable to try and work together—even with those with whom we don’t totally agree—in our world of getting things done without thinking of the potential for adverse consequences, maybe we should ponder Davies’ poem.
Action is good. God built it into the plan for us. “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it” (Genesis 2:15). But God never intended for us to rush into our world without thinking about what it is we are actually doing.
This New Year, as you make those new goals to get going and get it done, improving all those relationships, first resolve to STOP. Make time to take time. Resolve to stop and stare. Doing that one thing can improve everything else. In fact, the very act of staring at nothing in particular resets your mental focus and promotes a sense of calm and well-being, helping you build the stamina to achieve worthwhile goals.
That’s because staring activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation. So, relaxing helps us be more effective in accomplishing those “active” goals.” We will have thought through what we are doing. The biblical proverb reminds us: “Ignorant zeal is worthless; haste makes waste” (Proverbs 19:2).
Let me warn you, standing and staring isn’t easy. The temptation to do is always there. As author Marty Rubin said, “It takes a long time to learn how to do nothing.”
Our culture has taught us that doing translates into value, so if we aren’t busy, we are less than we should be. But remember, we are human beings, not human doings.
So, before writing down a list of resolutions, first resolve to take time to stand (or sit) and stare.
And if I happen to see you staring, I promise not to disrupt you, for I will know you are practicing the fine art of doing nothing.