“There she is, the girl with the laughing smile,” I told my wife. “I could sure use some laughter. Let’s go on in.”
I was referring to the barista working at one of our favorite coffee houses. The last time we were there, I had attempted to order a cup of tea for Lori and coffee for me.
The young lady at the counter was explaining in great detail about the wide variety of teas available when she realized I actually wanted a cup of the stuff. She was at the counter where you ordered those items in bulk, not individual cups. Why she found it so funny that I was standing in line at the wrong counter, I didn’t quite know, and it didn’t matter because her smiling and laughing prompted a natural response from me to do the same.
I noticed she never stopped smiling the entire time we were in the store. Neither was I the only customer who did something she found amusing. She was laughing, as they say, “not at them but with them.”
It may have just been me, but it seemed like more people were in her line to purchase items than any other. I almost wanted to buy something else, so I could check out at her counter. She had what I told Lori was a “laughing smile.”
I happen to believe smiles are contagious. Our natural reaction to a genuine smile is to smile back. When someone throws me a smile, I have to work at NOT tossing it back.
According to research reported by Psychology Today, smiling is a natural mood-lifter. Smiling activates the release of neuropeptides that work toward fighting off stress. The feel-good neurotransmitters dopamine, endorphins and serotonin are all released when you smile. This not only relaxes your body, but it can lower your heart rate and blood pressure. The endorphins also act as a natural pain reliever, and the serotonin release brought on by your smile can serve as an anti-depressant. What all that means is that the act of smiling actually makes you feel better.
I didn’t know all that was going on when I smiled.
Because smiling makes us feel better and we tend to smile when we are around people who do smile, we naturally drift towards smiling people.
I actually tried this: I stood in front of a mirror and smiled. Then I laughed. (I did shut the door.) It may have been auto-suggestion, but I think I actually felt better.
Then I walked into the family room where everyone was watching TV. I smiled and laughed for no reason. Know what they did? They laughed too. Only after they smiled and laughed in response to my action did they ask me why I was laughing.
I can choose to smile, and in that sense, choose to feel better. And in so doing, I help others feel better, too.
There’s a story that when Abraham Lincoln was president of the U.S., someone recommended a certain man to serve on Lincoln’s cabinet. But Lincoln didn’t want this particular man on his cabinet. When asked why, Lincoln said, “I don’t like his face.”
The man who had suggested this individual to serve, replied, “But the poor man isn’t responsible for his face.”
And Lincoln, it is said, responded, “Every man over forty is responsible for his face.”
Maybe Lincoln recognized something. Maybe he knew we have a choice about how we feel and that can be reflected on our face, by a smile or a frown. Maybe the man in question wouldn’t smile, and Lincoln didn’t want to be around someone who would make others feel bad, not better.
Now, back to my favorite barista.
On the day in question, Lori and I had received some less good news. We were tired, it was a cold, dreary day, and were feeling the stress of work and life.
That’s when I saw the girl with the laughing smile again.
“What is there about selling coffee that makes her smile and laugh so much?” I asked out loud while we were still in the car outside the coffee shop.
I still don’t know, but I was drawn in, and stayed around for a second cup that day.
And smiled all the way out the door.