I was driving home, frustrated with several situations, and disappointed with how I had handled one in particular. The temptation presented itself to set up the plates, cups and saucers for a small pity party of my own, right there in my car.
That was when my cell phone rang. It was my son, David.
“How ya doing, Dad?” he asked in his typical cheery, upbeat voice.
“Okay,” I answered rather blandly.
He had been watching the Oklahoma University Sooners women’s softball team in the NCAA finals and immediately launched into a full report. I don’t normally follow collegiate softball, even if it’s OU, so I listened along as he happily told me the play by play in the game he was watching at that moment.
I was thinking, “He is totally oblivious to my difficult day, and that’s okay, because I shouldn’t bother him with that anyway,” when there was a pause, and David said, “Well, Dad, I just want you to know, you’re a great dad. You’re doing the right thing. I love you.”
I almost dropped the phone. What prompted him to say that? I hadn’t told him anything about my day. Did he sense that I needed an encouraging word? Or was it simply David being David, telling me what was on his heart?
I didn’t ask, because it didn’t matter. The fact is, he said it. And I gratefully received it as an early Father’s Day gift.
It was the first thing I shared about my day when I walked in the house and spoke to Lori, because his words had ushered a blue sky into an otherwise rainy day.
Three little sentences spoken at the right time had immediately cancelled my pity party plans.
I was reminded of Proverbs 25:11: “A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings.”
David’s words not only lifted my spirit in that moment, but they encouraged me to keep on walking the walk, staying steady with the truth, “doing the right thing,” as David put it.
M.R. De Haan, M.D., once said, “You don’t have to meet a man face to face to know what kind of a father he is. Just listen to the way his children refer to him.”
I’m one of the blessed ones whose children speak uplifting, loving words to me and about me, their dad. It’s certainly not because I’ve been a perfect dad; I’ve made my fair share of mistakes.
Usually, positive words from children to dad aren’t prompted because dad is flawless or thinks he is. They come from observing a dad who is honest, truthful about his failures, and loves the child, regardless of how he or she is performing.
I know at different stages children may not love and appreciate the faithfulness of their father. Most parents have heard a child say in response to their correction and discipline, “I hate you.” That’s simply the uncontrolled response of a child who doesn’t yet know how to express angry feelings.
Unfortunately, there are times when a child’s disgust for a parent lingers, even into adulthood. We know that sometimes a parent can cause irreparable harm to a child.
Then, there exists those other situations when the child is misplacing negative feelings about themselves onto a good parent. I’ve put my arms around more than a few dads who have been in that heart-breaking position. It hurts. Deeply.
But hopefully, and this is what praying dads pray for, there comes a time when dad’s loving words come back to him.
And, sometimes they return in the most unlikely places and circumstances.
Like when he’s driving home after a difficult day, a couple of weeks before Father’s Day.