We almost didn’t have my graduation ceremony from Altus High School in Altus, Oklahoma, Class of 1975. A few hours before the ceremony was to begin, we still were under a tornado warning. Living in that area of the country, we were used to tornadic weather, but, “give me a break,” I thought, “not on MY graduation night.” It didn’t seem fair.
I was also a bit afraid, for tornadoes can kill. And, I was pre-programming my disappointment in not experiencing a special moment in my life. Then, shortly before the scheduled hour for graduation, the warning was lifted; the all clear sign was given; I walked across the stage to receive my diploma as planned.
What I feared that night, the disappointment I dreaded, the danger I anticipated, you, 2020 graduates, have in fact experienced.
For that, I am truly sorry.
And I congratulate you for your resilience, strength, and courage. My, what a story you will have to tell your children and grandchildren.
You will be able to talk about the very different kind of ceremony you had. Can you hear yourself admonishing your kids? “Quit complaining about having to be in front of a lot of people, why, when I was to graduate, we had that coronavirus thing, and we didn’t even get to walk across the stage.” And, you will be able to share not just what you missed on your graduation night, but also how half of your senior year didn’t really happen.
You aren’t a generation lost in space; you are a class lost in a lock-down.
And, it’s not just the graduation that escaped you. It’s been much, much, more: the special attention rightly given to seniors in their last semester; the parties; the hugs; the words to that beloved teacher; the last time you saw your classmates in one of those rarefied moments that will never happen again because you will never be in that place and time again.
And you missed it.
Here’s the deal: no one, not your parents, your teachers, the governor, not you, can change what has happened to you. But you can change what you do with what has happened to you, for your response to this whack on your emotional shins will determine where you go from here, even if at first you do limp a bit as a result.
The moments taken from you by the Covid-19 crisis can serve you, strengthening the moral fiber deep in your bones, empowering you to overcome adversity, for this will not be the last tragic moment or series of moments we commonly call a season, in which you may feel cheated, compromised, and marginalized. But you, YOU, are already a step ahead of other graduation classes, for this nasty state of affairs called Covid-19 has already grabbed a chunk of your life, the last semester of your senior year, awakening you to the stark reality that life does not evolve according to a pre-packaged plan of our own making. Now, you are prepared to begin leading the way for others, including your elders.
How?
By taking what this virus has taught you and putting it to use. I’m talking about the value of time alone, connecting with others in innovative ways, learning about your own strengths and weaknesses, and giving to others. In short, it means coming to the recognition that life is not all about you, that you aren’t in control of the universe, that bad things do in fact happen to good, decent people, like people in your class, the Class of 2020.
You can spend the rest of your life blaming others for what has happened. Or you can look within, and change yourself. As a survivor of the Holocaust, Victor Frankl, said, “When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
And in that department, you are a step ahead of other graduation classes.
Congratulations.