The Power of Words

One of America’s most significant poets, Emily Dickinson, knew a thing or two about words, even though she had no formal education. In a short poem, penned in a letter to her cousin, she capsulized the power of words: 

“A word is dead when it is said

Some say – 

I say it just begins to live

That day.”

It makes me ask, “How are my words living today?”

American singer and songwriter Amy Grant certainly knows the power of words. She’s spent much of her life singing the words she’s written. Amy talks about how her father, a respected radiology oncologist, trained at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center—taught her about the power of words. Maybe it was when she was a young mother, or perhaps it was in the midst of his struggle with dementia that in a moment of clarity, he held up his hand and gave her the visual for words. 

“Hold up your five fingers,” he said. “Do you know the most important five words you can say?”

“No,” she nodded.

Holding up his thumb, he said in his southern drawl: “How can I help you?”

So simple, I thought as I listened to her tell the story. But how often do I use those words? Am I so self-focused that I forget? Do I not ask because I’m afraid they might tell me? It prompted me to pause and reflect.

“Put your thumb down,” he went on. “Now, what are the four most important words?

Again, she didn’t know the answer. 

“Here they are,” he said. “’I’m proud of you.’ Say to your son, ‘I’m proud of you.’ Let him know.”

I thought of a time my dad spoke those words to me. We were walking down Nassau Street in Princeton, N.J., shortly after I’d graduated from Princeton Seminary. We were browsing in an old bookstore. Dad noticed me admiring a set of books, The Encyclopedia of Philosophy. The next thing I knew, he had paid for them. “I’m proud of you,” he said, handing them to me. I still have those books today. Much more valuable than the books themselves is the memory that accompanies them, my dad saying: “I’m proud of you.” Those books occupy a place on my bookshelves today, though I can get most of the information in them online. They remind me of when my dad said he was proud of me. Think of the power those four words carry.

Then Amy’s dad held up three fingers. This time she had it, “I love you.” Yes, we do love others, especially those closest to us. But do we say those words with meaning? 

The Book of Proverbs states the startling truth: “Better is an open rebuke than hidden love” (Proverbs 27:5). Look a loved one in the eyes, say the words, “I love you,” and mean it.

Amy guessed the next two words as her father held up two fingers: “Thank you.” Now, that’s easy to say, but we often forget to tell those closest to us. I’ll thank a server at a restaurant and forget to thank someone near and dear to my heart. 

Only one finger was left. Amy tried but couldn’t guess what that last word would be. “We,” her dad told her, “We.” It’s true: all these words involve more than one person, don’t they? The good news is we are not alone. We may feel alone, but someone, somewhere, cares. We can help friends and family get through life’s big and small obstacles.  

Now, back to Emily Dickinson. Something of a mystery, Dickinson was incredibly reclusive. Today, students write doctoral dissertations about her. She is one of the most widely read poets, though she died in 1886. Yet only ten of her poems were published in her lifetime. 

It should remind us that we can have a positive influence that survives beyond our lifetime. And though we may never publish our words, they can live on, through others. 

And to remind you of that, hold up your hand and repeat Dr. Grant’s five most powerful phrases to yourself. Then go and share them with someone.