From my first day at Washington Elementary—when I reluctantly released my mother’s hand to take the hand of my first-grade teacher, Mrs. Speck—to the day when I hoped no one would detect the nervousness in my voice as I defended my doctoral dissertation, school has been a process of letting go of the familiar to grasp the unfamiliar.
And sometimes, that can be a frightening experience.
Remember that, not just when it’s your child’s first day of school but also when they move from one grade to the next, wave bye to you on their way to college, or finally leave home for that job somewhere else.
They are likely just as anxious, sad, and happy as you are, even if, like you, they are trying to hide it.
May I offer you some encouragement?
Your simple words can make a difference between them giving up or staying with it.
I don’t know exactly when I started doing it, but somewhere along the line, early on, I began writing little notes to each one of my children, slipping hand-written words of encouragement into their backpacks or, later, on the steering wheel or console of their automobile. I’ve even taped notes on the gas cap of their car after I filled their vehicles with fuel.
Those little notes were usually nothing profound, although on occasion, I would include some wise quote from someone, and frequently, I would include a word from the Bible that was appropriate for whatever circumstance they might be facing that day. But most of the time, it was just a one or two-sentence note reminding them that I was thinking about them that day. They were simple notes like, “Praying for you as you take that geometry test today,” or “I’ll be there tonight for your game,” or “You are a champion. You’ll do fine.”
I wasn’t even sure if they always read them.
When I married Lori, my notes grew from two children to four, but I stayed with that little habit each morning.
I was surprised when my kids, once grown up, told me, on different occasions, how much those little notes meant to them. Some even kept the notes tucked away in a box or a drawer; if they didn’t keep them, they at least hid some of those thoughts in their heart.
I wasn’t aiming to write something so profound they would never forget it. I just wanted to give them a little oasis of positivity in a desert of negativity. Proverbs 18:4 says, “A person’s words can be life-giving water…”
We are to provide a cup of water for those in need, aren’t we? A little note can be a cup of inspiration.
Unless you want fancy paper, your little notes can cost little or nothing. The 17th-century mathematician, inventor, and theologian Blaise Pascal reminds us, “Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much.”
Your words can be powerful—for good or bad.
Okay, so you aren’t one to put pen to paper?
Don’t let that hold you back. Think of some way to get “a cup of encouragement” to that child. A text message? An email? A voice message? A mantra you repeat to them as you drop them off at school? Find something to remind them that you care because, too often, their world won’t.
Let your children know they matter, regardless of how well or poorly they are doing in school.
Be fairly consistent. An encouraging message once or twice a year is wonderful, but a daily dose of honey is better than one meal a year.
Words, even little notes, can steady children on their journey as they let go of the people and places they know and step into the territory they don’t.
And even if they don’t glance back and wave back to you as you leave, they may still carry your words in their heart, for those little notes can affect not merely one day at school but their life as well.