How are those New Year’s resolutions working? They aren’t, at least for most people.
National Public Radio’s Morning Edition asked for stories (through January 8) from people who had given up on their New Year’s resolutions for 2024. “What was your resolution, how soon into the year did you give it up and why?” the program asked, noting that only 37% of us make New Year’s resolutions, and of those, apparently half give up within two months.
We grin at the thought of New Year’s resolutions. ” Yeah, right,” we say, “been there, done that.”
Why even try? Isn’t making resolutions setting us up for defeat, propelling the New Year into a downward spiral before it has a chance to get started?
Trying anything worthwhile holds the possibility of failure. We’ll forget most of what we’ve read when we read a book. But it shouldn’t keep us from reading. Stephen Hawking must have had a twinkle in his eye when he quipped, “The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?”
Indeed, why bother?
For one, even if most resolutions fall by the wayside, they can still make positive differences in our lives. If we accomplish only three, two, or one of our resolutions, we are far ahead than we would be if we hadn’t tried. One new goal each year accomplished for ten years means ten goals achieved. And you’ve made vast improvements in your life that you otherwise wouldn’t have made.
We unwittingly fall into the trap of thinking we must enter the year holding a full house of cards. It tends to backfire. With so much on the resolution table, we falter with one card, struggle with another, fail on a third, then, asking why bother with any, we fold completely, falling back in our chairs, utterly defeated.
Lesser is sometimes better, even though it may sound counterintuitive. We want to accomplish this, then that, and improve there and achieve that. It’s like me in a bookstore. “I’d like to read that. And that looks interesting; I’ll get that one. Now that’s something I need to know more about; I’ll purchase that one, too.” If I’m not discriminating, I’ll need a shopping cart for all the books. I’ve got good intentions, just not enough time (or money).
I’ve learned over the years to make fewer and more realistic goals. This year, I’ve got two goals for my professional life. They are challenging, but if I work steadily, I can accomplish them. I’m not setting any new goals for my health, only to maintain what I am doing and cut out some bad habits I’ve acquired. (Like eating potato chips while watching Everyone Loves Raymond. I blame Frank Barone for this indulgence). I’ve got one personal goal (decluttering). For my family, I’ve made two new resolutions. For my spiritual journey, I’ve made only one new resolution and plan to stay the course on habits I’ve enjoyed for years.
And remember, we don’t have to make our resolutions on January 1. I don’t recall resolving on January 1 to start exercising or to read and pray daily–all of which are a part of my lifestyle, although, like other habits, they require work, one day at a time.
It’s the middle of January. Instead of staying stuck in that rut, try getting stuck in a resolution: a resolution to stick with your resolutions.
It happened in the Seinfeld episode, “The Summer of George,” but it applies to New Year’s resolutions. George Constanza declares to Jerry, “I’m going to read a book, from cover to cover…in that order.”
And Jerry echoes, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”
This year, let’s move from the realm of wanting to doing. And stay with it.
Even if it’s only one resolution: to stay stuck in a resolution.
You can contact Dr. David Whitlock at drdavid@davidwhitlock.org