Just An Old Family Tradition

Our oldest daughter, Mary, was home for a week this summer. She is getting married soon, so this was her last visit with us before her big day. After she left, Lori and I found little notes she left us scattered throughout the house. 

On the coffee pot, her note read, “Loved our morning coffee, xo, Smiles/Mary.” (“Smiles” is the pet name I gave her when she was a child.) On my desk, “Love you! Have a great day!” By Lori’s mirror, “Love you, miss you,” and on the kitchen cabinet, “Love you for everything!” We smiled through the house, finding surprise notes tucked in nooks and crannies.

“I guess Mary is carrying on an old family tradition,” I said, grinning to Lori. 

I don’t know exactly when I started doing it, but somewhere along the line, when they were but little tikes, I began writing short notes to each one of the children, first reading the notes aloud for them, then when they could read, slipping the notes into their backpacks, and later, on the steering wheel or console of their automobiles. I’ve even taped notes on the gas cap of their car after giving them gas money. When they moved on to college, I used email and text messages. 

The little notes I wrote for my kids were nothing profound, although on occasion, I would include some wise quote from someone, and frequently, I would include a word from the Bible appropriate for whatever circumstance they might be facing that day. Most of the time, it was just a one or two-sentence note to remind them I was thinking about them. They were simple notes like, “Praying for you as you take that test today,” or “I’ll be there tonight for your game,” or “You’re prepared; you’ll do fine.” 

I wasn’t even sure if they always read them. 

So, I was surprised when my kids, once grown, told me how much those little notes meant to them. Some even kept their notes secured in a box or drawer; if they didn’t keep them, the assurance of love was still there, hidden in their heart.

The oldest two of our six grandkids are back to school for another school year. Eli has moved to another school for 6th grade, which means his little sister will go to school in 2nd grade for the first time without her older brother with her.  I wonder if she is a bit nervous about that.

Children arrive on the first day of school with issues we don’t always know, which can be a frightening experience for them.

That’s true not only on the child’s first day of school but also when they move from one grade to the next or wave bye on their way to college.

They are likely just as anxious (even if they try to hide it) as the parent is sad, happy, or nervous for them. 

Need some encouragement this school year? Each of those days, some more difficult, some easier than others, will build on the next and the next to make a life. Your positive words may make the difference between a child giving up or staying with it.

Proverbs 18:4 says, “A person’s words can be life-giving water…”

Just as we are to provide a cup of water for those in need, words, like a stream in the desert, can bring life to someone in desperate need of refreshment. And that “someone” might be your child.

I was talking to our son, David, on the phone while he was taking his two-year-old daughter, Stella, to daycare. In between David leading her in nursery rhymes, I asked him, “Now, how long will it be till she enters first grade?”

“Too soon,” he said.

Yes, indeed, too soon. And too soon, she will graduate from high school and too soon fly away on her journey from home.

But “too soon” can also be “just right.” Leaving gives children room for growth and, consequently, nourishment for others.

Then our words will not have been in vain, for we are still with our children (though we yet long for their presence), in those words we’ve given them, words they pass along to others.

I am sure Mary, David, and Madi will give the right words for their family to carry with them.

And if someone asks why they do it, I’ll say, “They’re just carrying on an old family tradition.”