The Game of Gratitude

We sit silently at the drop-off line at school, still dark outside with the time change, car lights in front of us flickering, the kids edgy, Emmie upset that the outfit she picked out the night before didn’t look as good in the morning, Eli telling her to get over it. 

I choose to ignore this minor skirmish, though I know that never in the history of siblings has a little sister “gotten over it” because her older brother told her to get over it. 

And I was not as chipper as usual, tired, and entertaining serious second thoughts about my choices for fasting during Lent. 

Then, a random idea: “Let’s thank God for the things money can’t buy,” I announced.

Silence from my passengers. 

So I started it: “I’m thankful I can drive you two little munchkins to school.”

To my surprise, they latched on.

Emmie ventured first, “Love.” 

A tad general, but a start: “That’s good, Emmie,” I encouraged her. 

Glancing out the car window, Eli seconded her with, “The moon.” 

Back to my turn: “Good health,” I said, “I’m thankful I enjoy good health.”

“The trees,” said Eli, continuing the game.

 “My teachers,” Emmie quickly matched him. 

We had some discussion about things money can and can’t buy. Money can buy the ice cream but not the taste to enjoy it. It takes money to go on a vacation, but we have to have the health to travel.  Money buys baseball uniforms, but not the ability to hit the ball, although we can pay for batting lessons that might help. Back and forth, we went until I saw the cars in front of us beginning to move. 

It’s amazing how giving thanks changes our attitude. In an instant, we can move from criticism to encouragement, boredom to engagement, neutral to active. 

“Remember, things go better when we are thankful,” I reminded them just before they opened the car doors and scooted out, whispering a prayer as I drove away that our little game would have a positive effect. 

Repeated studies have shown how regularly practicing an attitude of gratitude has numerous mental and physical benefits. It can reduce anxiety, which can lessen depression, and improve sleep quality, which has a variety of health benefits, including the most obvious: mental alertness and physical energy. It stands to reason that practicing gratefulness can, as studies have repeatedly shown, improve relationships and increase our overall happiness. 

Often, the most beautiful offerings of gratitude emerge from the ugliest of circumstances. I thought of one of my favorite quotes on gratitude from Michael J. Fox, who lives with Parkinson’s disease. “With gratitude, optimism is sustainable. If you can find something to be grateful for, then you’ll find something to look forward to, and you carry on,” he said in an interview. 

“You carry on.” Gratitude gives us a perspective that enables us to carry on in healthy, positive ways even if we aren’t feeling well or living in delightful circumstances.

Exiting the school parking lot, I imagined a new board game: “Gratitude for the Things Money Can’t Buy.” Each player would have to identify something money could not buy within three seconds without repeating another player’s item of gratitude before moving to the next square on the board. One player could jump another player and get more points. It’s a start, I thought, and maybe by refining it, I could present it on “Shark Tank” and become a millionaire. 

I laughed to myself for entertaining the silly idea of making money for a board game on how to be thankful for the things money can’t buy.

One thing I immediately did: Instead of focusing on what I had decided to give up during Lent, I added something: a renewed commitment to the daily practice of gratitude, the one sustainable habit I could maintain that would generate positivity for all the other habits, the one card I could play that’s guaranteed to empower me to carry on in difficult times through the board game of life. 

Gratitude. Now, that’s a game we can all play where all the participants are winners.